TOP TEN WORST FILMS OF 2017

So with the good comes the bad and while this has been an exceptional year, there will always be those films that you wonder where it went wrong because, let’s face it, no one sets out to make a bad movie. Among those that didn’t quite make it  are:

XXX: Return of Xander Cage, The Great Wall, Shut In, Life, The Boss Baby, Snatched, The Dark Tower, The Jungle Bunch, Flatliners, Justice League.

Yet these could not match the films that I have included on my list for the worst films this year. As always, this is my personal opinion.

10. The Snowman

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This is the perfect example of a film that should work but because of the pressures of finance, went completely wrong. Directed by Tomas Alfredson and starring Michael Fassbender, this thriller was messy, confusing and just dire. It turned out that 15% of the script wasn’t filmed, hence why it made no sense whatsoever.

9.  Fifty Shades Darker

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The sequel to the equally dire Fifty Shades of Grey continues the trend with a film that is as sexy as doing grouting and the inclusion of a thriller element doesn’t thrill at all. Director for hire James Foley has made some decent movies in the past. This isn’t one of them. Still, we only have to endure one more movie.

8. The Mummy

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This was supposed to launch a new franchise of Universal monsters but with its laughable plot and ludicrous characters, the finger was immediately pointed at Tom Cruise for interfering too much, yet it wasn’t just him but everyone involved that made this a lacklustre affair that flopped at the box office. Will they continue with the franchise? If it’s as bad as this, probably not!

7. Pirates of the Caribbean: Salazar’s Revenge

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A film so dull I think I might have slept a while during it and not missed a thing. Johnny Depp returns as the annoying Jack Sparrow in a film that identical to the others with different actors in similar roles.

6. King Arthur: Legend of the Sword

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Cor blimey, gov’ner, it’s Lock Stock and One Smoking Excalibur as Guy Ritchie treats us to nonsensical origins story of how Arfur became king. Again, this was supposed to be the first of a franchise but that has already been abandoned. The highlight? David Beckham’s awful cockerney accent that makes Dick Van Dyke’s Mary Poppins effort seem perfect.

5. Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul

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With a new cast including Alicia Silverstone as the mother, this childish entry in the Wimpy Kid series makes you long to return home and watch the original. FIlled with jokes about poo, farting and being sick, it spends most of the time setting up gags that just fall flat. Dreadful.

4. Transformers: The Last Knight

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Please note that this isn’t the worst film of the year, which must mean that Michael Bay might have done something right. He hasn’t. It’s just as bad as the others. A film that includes Anthony Hopkins spouting explanation about how the Transformers were around during Arthurian times. Maybe Bay should have spoken to Guy Ritchie and they could have made one really terrible movie.

3. Daddy’s Home 2

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Merry Christmas! This is the movie that just keeps giving…silence. This alleged comedy sequel has Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg returning with their dads, the wasted John Lithgow and that comedy master, Mel Gibson! Ho how we laughed at the joke about giving a young girl a rifle! Joy to the world!

2. Fist Fight

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I AM GOING TO SHOUT AND SCREECH EVERY LINE BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT COMEDY IS ALL ABOUT! The annoying Charlie Day comes face to face with Ice Cube as teachers who are going to have a fist fight. Yes, teachers fighting! After five minutes of listening to Charlie Day’s high-pitched screeching, you too will want to punch his face in!

1. The Emoji Movie

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A vomit of a movie that so wants to Inside Out but doesn’t have the wit, heart or imagination. It also has Sir Patrick Stewart, yes, Shakespearian actor, supplying the voice of a Poo. There is one word to describe how excruciating it is but I don’t use those words on this site. It’s another word for poo!

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