As is tradition, we have the best now we must endure the worst. Not too many stinkers this year. Quite a few mediocre movies but when they did stink, they reeked. Here are the ten movies that had me wanting to scream, shout or just leave the cinema.
10. The Curse of La Llorona
Based on a myth, this was just another day at the office for the jump scares. A year where horrors were either smart (Us), witty (Happy Death Day 2U) or just plain fun (Ready or Not) this was just lazy as a curse hits a family from a ghost who wants the children. Yawn!
9. Wonder Park
Animation stepped up its game once more this year, although some are still holding up the queue. This bizarre modern retelling of Alice in Wonderland may have been bright and colourful but it dealt with adult subjects that would scare the adults trying to explain them to the kids. Strange.
Take the premise of Big and reverse it, so a big businesswoman becomes an obnoxious kid and watch the comedy begin! Well, I’m still waiting. Makes you yearn for Tom Hanks and the musical piano.
7. What Men Want
While What Women Want was a clever romantic comedy, this sequel of sorts could be answered in one word: Sex! So tell us something we don’t know!
6. The Hustle
Not a great year for Rebel Wilson. The first of two films she appeared in, this a female remake of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels with all the humour extracted as Wilson and Anne Hathaway try to out con each other. Pitiful!
5. Godzilla: King of the Monsters
We all wanted to see Godzilla take on the rest of the monsters from his universe. What we got were reaction shots from the human cast while we couldn’t see the fights as they were either too dark or edited within an inch of their lives. The end result was a shambles.
4. Rambo: Last Blood
Or Death Wish 6. Sylvester Stallone’s iconic character takes on the Mexican cartel in a film that both screams Trump supporter and even made the original creator of the character disown it. A final act that was brutally and sickeningly violent. This could be the last time we see Rambo. Here’s hoping.
A reboot no one asked for is just a mess from start to finish. Stranger Things star David Harbour is not Ron Pearlman and the confusing story just made audiences wonder why this was greenlit in the first place. Watch the del Toro films instead.
2. Last Christmas
Scripted by Emma Thompson and based on the songs of George Michael. What could go wrong? Everything! Using the Christmas hit as its source, this managed to crowbar in Brexit, racism, lesbians and have the dumbest twist ever. Nothing in this film made sense and you can now get from Alexander Palace to The Strand in two steps if you wear ice skates. This film just made me angry.
Andrew Lloyd Webber’s hit musical is turned into a living nightmare for the big screen, as a talented cast are turned into CGI cats with hands and faces. If this was a horror film, it would have been in my top ten for scares but it’s a musical without any heart and with a scene of Rebel Wilson scratching herself that I will never be able to get out of my head.