As night follows day, so the bad must follow the good. While it has been a reasonably good year for film with more on the plus side than the minus, there are still some that come along to spoil the party. So I bring to you the ten (in fact eleven – you’ll understand why) films that I have disliked the most so far this year. Other opinions, of course, are available.
Based on the hit TV series that I’ve never seen, this is a male fantasy version of what the Hollywood lifestyle is like. Naked women are used as scenery while dull, uninteresting characters drive around in fast cars and low-grade celebrities cameo. A comedy with no laughs, only saved by Kevin Dillon and, more so, Jeremy Piven.
9. Last Knights
Cheap cash-in on the popularity of Games Of Thrones, with Clive Owen as the commander of a former Lord, banished by a power-hungry religious advisor. Lacking in excitement or originality, it relies heavily on clichés we have seen in hundreds of swordplay dramas. Morgan Freeman had the good sense of disappearing after about 15 minutes.
8. Inherent Vice
Who would have thought a Paul Thomas Anderson film would be in my bottom ten. A dull, overlong private eye thriller that makes no sense at all, wonders around completely lost and leaves the audience cold. Even the talented cast are left floundering. Anderson, get back to making another Boogie Nights or Magnolia, please. More like Inherent Bore!
7. Taken 3/Run All Night
I’ve put these two together because, basically, they are the same film. Liam Neeson runs around punching people and using his special “set of skills” to avoid the cops (Taken 3) and the mob (Run All Night). What is sad is that Neeson, who we know is a decent actor, keeps coming back to these films and the audiences keep paying to see them. One request: please stop!
6. Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2
The sequel that nobody wanted. Kevin James used all the same jokes but just moved his inept mall cop to Las Vegas. Incredibly infantile and not a moment of laughter throughout. Proof that James just isn’t funny and that Paul Blart just isn’t a character we want to see anymore.
Unintentionally funny action thriller with Milla Jovovich running around London being chased by top hit man Pierce Brosnan and the greatest moustache in screen history, as it just pops on and off whenever it feels like. Ludicrous, this could be a cult classic for those who like really bad movies to shout abuse at.
4. A Royal Night Out
When a film is advertised as “Inspired by true events”, you’d expect it to have more than just one event and the rest made up. Based around VE Day when the Princesses Elizabeth and Margaret were allowed out among the public, this then goes on some nonsensical journey full of contrivances, bad dialogue and a constant level of unbelievability. Only Rupert Everett and Emily Watson came out unscathed.
3. Hot Tub Time Machine 2
Proof that if you remove a vital element to an original film, the sequel becomes a mess. John Cusack decided against this vile follow-up and so what we have left is a series of homophobic, sexist and racist jokes that not only insults our intelligence but leaves you feeling dirty. Cusack brought heart to the first film. Now the heart has gone, it’s just bile!
Johnny Depp finally hits an all-time low with this ramshackle, unfunny mess, in which he plays a snooty art expert who is a walking disaster. Gwyneth Paltrow and Paul Bettany are the best things about this horribly misguided film that plods along hoping to find a joke that works. To say it’s poor is an understatement.
1. Get Hard
I don’t think is one person in the world who won’t be offended by this incredibly tasteless comedy in which Will Ferrell plays a broker who is going to prison but has 30 days to sort his affairs out. He enlists Kevin Hart to teach him prison life because, and here’s the joke, he’s black and must have been in prison! Yes, it’s that awful. What makes it such a crime is that you can see a potentially strong comedy partnership here.