Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie

Directors: Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim

Starring: Tim Heidecker, Eric Wareheim, Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly, Ray Wise, Robert Loggia.

Written by: Tim Heidecker, Eric Wareheim, Jonathan Krisel, Doug Lussenhop, Jon Mugar.

Running Time: 93 minutes

Cert: N/A

Release date: 23rd August 2012

Not many things shock me or repulse me. I think over my time of watching movies that I have seen almost everything there is to see and then some. Stuff I really didn’t feel neccessary to see at all. That’s what I thought. Then I saw Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie and now I can honestly say I have seen it all. Without hesitation, this has got to be the most disgusting, vile, lame excuse for a movie I have ever had the misfortune to sit through and what makes it even worse…it’s suppose to be funny. If this is comedy, then it is well and truly dead!

The plot: Two dim-witted friends, Tim and Eric, are given a billion dollars to make a movie. What they come back with is a three minute mess with a fake Johnny Depp. So enraged with the end product, the producers demand their money back. Tim and Eric haven’t a clue what to do until they stumble on an advert to run a mall that will earn them a billion dollars. They immediately head out to the middle of nowhere to a dive, where squatters frequent the messy, litter filled shopping precinct and the place has a wandering wolf. Tim and eric are sure they can make it work but the producers are closing in.

The first ten minutes I did find quite amusing. A cameo from Jeff Goldblum and the short movie had promise. Then it started to kick in. Writers, directors and stars Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim must have some pretty powerful friends to have even got this off the ground (they have in the form of Will Ferrell). This could have been fun for a three minute sketch but these guys are so obnoxious and unbelievably unfunny that they have to rely on the lowest form of humour to scrap up some form of laughter. They also litter the film with cameos that, quite frankly, if I were these stars, I’d try and hide it from their CVs.

Will Ferrell (co-producer) appears as the owner of the mall and even he can’t raise a smile. Then there’s poor John C. Reilly, who was a highly respected character actor until he got told he was funny and now he has to appear as a slow-minded tramp with a (not) funny voice.

So what is wrong with this film? Everything! The gags are so infantile, even a child would find them childish. They seem to think that just by saying F*** every five seconds that it’s hilarious. They offend almost everyone with racist, sexist comments that, in the right hands, can be comedy gold if a little offensive (see The Campaign to really know how to do it) but here are just offensive with being remotely funny. But worse of all, it relies on smut and just downright being disgusting and trust me, you won’t be laughing, you will want to leave the cinema!

I am far from prudish but watching a grown man, lying in a bathtub while four young boys shit on him is not funny. It never is and never will be and if that’s the level of humour that you love, then I think you need some serious therapy. While this is going on, there is a sex scene that is more like something a teenager who has no clue about sex would find painfully funny yet is just as replusive.

I was shocked to find out that the UK Premiere of this tripe has sold out at my favourite cinema, The Prince Charles in Leicester Square. Let me give you a word of advice if you have tickets…ask for your money back. I get the impression that there will be a lot of angry people coming out of that screening.

By a million, nah, billion miles…The Worst Film of the Year!


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