Morning!

So the big news is chief advisors breaking lockdown rules to travel 250 miles to visit family. What he should have done was stayed at home, looked at my recommendations and watched some movies. Won’t people ever learn?

As it’s the Bank Holiday weekend, sack loads of movies on TV, so eyes down and here we go!

Stay safe, look after yourself and Happy Saturday!

AMAZON PRIME

KILLER JOE (18)

Starring: Matthew McConaughey, Emile Hirsch, Juno Temple

Crime, drama, thriller

When a debt puts a young man’s life in danger, he turns to put a hit out on his evil mother in order to collect the insurance. Tough drama from the director of The Exorcist. Strong bloody and sadistic violence, language and sexual threat.

HIS GIRL FRIDAY (U)

Starring: Cary Grant, Rosalind Russell

Comedy

A newspaper editor uses every trick in the book to keep his ace reporter ex-wife from remarrying. One of the all-time comedy greats. Mild innuendo and very mild threat. Black and white.

NETFLIX

CHILDREN OF MEN (15)

Starring: Clive Owen, Julianne Moore, Michael Caine, Chiwetel Ejiofor

Drama, sci-fi, thriller

In 2027, in a chaotic world in which women have become somehow infertile, a former activist agrees to help transport a miraculously pregnant woman to a sanctuary at sea. Superb yet very bleak dystopian thriller. Strong bloody violence and strong language.

TED (15)

Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Seth MacFarlane

Comedy

John Bennett, a man whose childhood wish of bringing his teddy bear to life came true, now must decide between keeping the relationship with the bear or his girlfriend, Lori. Very rude but funny comedy. Not for kids! Strong sex references, language, drug use and brief nudity.

NOW TV/SKY CINEMA

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE (PG)

Starring: Tom Cruise, Jon Voight, Emmanuelle Beart

Action, adventure, thriller

An American agent, under false suspicion of disloyalty, must discover and expose the real spy without the help of his organization. The first in the popular franchise directed by Brian DePalma. Moderate action violence, mild language.

BEATS (18)

Starring: Martin Donaghy, Brian Ferguson

Comedy, drama

Two teenage boys in Scotland in 1994, best friends with no control over their lives, risk everything to attend an illegal rave, hoping for the best night of their boring lives. Underrated Scottish examination of 90s pop culture. Very strong language, violence and drug use. Colour and Black and white.

DISNEY+

THE UGLY DACHSHUND (U)

Starring: Dean Jones, Suzanne Pleshette

Comedy

The Garrisons live with a Great Dane who thinks he’s a dainty dachshund. His identity crisis results in an uproarious series of household crises that reduce the Garrisons’ house to shambles. If you love dogs behaving badly, you’ll love this.

AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON (12)

Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo, Scarlett Johansson, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Chris Hemsworth

Science Fiction, Adventure, Action

When Tony Stark and Bruce Banner try to jump-start a dormant peacekeeping program called Ultron, things go horribly wrong and it’s up to Earth’s mightiest heroes to stop the villainous Ultron from enacting his terrible plan. The return of the superhero team filled with exciting set pieces. Moderate fantasy violence, threat, occasional bloody moments.

MOVIES ON TERRESTRIAL TV

GOOSEBUMPS (PG)

11.45am Channel 5

Starring: Jack Black, Amy Ryan, Dylan Minnette

Horror, comedy

A teenager teams up with the daughter of young adult horror author R. L. Stine after the writer’s imaginary demons are set free on the town of Madison, Delaware. Inventive family horror based on the popular books. Frequent scary scenes.

WHAT WOMEN WANT (12)

11.55am 5*

Starring: Mel Gibson, Helen Hunt, Marisa Tomei, Bette Midler

Comedy, fantasy, romance

After an accident, a chauvinistic executive gains the ability to hear what women are really thinking. Entertaining comedy romance. Moderate comic sex references. May be edited for content.

CARRY ON UP THE JUNGLE (PG)

1.15pm ITV3

Starring: Frankie Howerd, Sidney James, Joan Sims, Charles Hawtrey, Terry Scott

Comedy

Lady Evelyn Bagley mounts an expedition to find her long-lost baby. Bill Boosey is the fearless hunter and guide. Prof. Tinkle is searching for the rare Oozalum bird. Everything is going swimmingly until a gorilla enters the camp. The Carry On team spoof the Tarzan movies. Mild comic violence and innuendo.

THE ADDAMS FAMILY (PG)

1.50pm Channel 5

Starring: Anjelica Huston, Raul Julia, Christopher Lloyd, Christina Ricci

Horror, Fantasy, Comedy

Con artists plan to fleece an eccentric family using an accomplice who claims to be their long-lost uncle. Perfectly cast family comedy horror. Mild comic violence and horror.

DEATH BECOMES HER (12)

2.20pm 5*

Starring: Meryl Streep, Goldie Hawn, Bruce Willis, Isabella Rossellini

Fantasy, Crime, Comedy

When a woman learns of an immortality treatment, she sees it as a way to outdo her long-time rival. Crazy camp comedy from Robert Zemeckis. Moderate fantasy violence, language, nudity.

VOLCANO (12)

2.30pm Sony Movies

Starring: Tommy Lee Jones, Anne Heche

Action, drama

A volcano erupts in downtown Los Angeles, threatening to destroy the city. Bonkers disaster movie saved by the presence of Tommy Lee Jones. Moderate threat, injury detail, infrequent strong language.

ANTZ (PG)

3.10pm ITV2

Starring: Woody Allen, Sharon Stone, Gene Hackman, Sylvester Stallone

Animation, adventure, comedy

A somewhat neurotic ant tries to break from his totalitarian society while trying to win the affection of the princess he loves. CGI animated fun from Dreamworks. Mild violence, language and peril.

CITIZEN KANE(U)

3.15pm BBC2

Starring: Orson Welles, Joseph Cotten, Dorothy Comingore

Drama

Following the death of publishing tycoon Charles Foster Kane, reporters scramble to uncover the meaning of his final utterance; ‘Rosebud’. Regarded as one of the greatest films ever made. Very mild violence and sexual references. Black and white.

ROOSTER COGBURN (U)

2.05pm ITV4

Starring: John Wayne, Katharine Hepburn

Western, Adventure, Drama

Marshal Rooster Cogburn unwillingly teams up with Eula Goodnight to track down her father’s murderers. Enjoyable follow-up to True Grit, helped by two strong stars. Mild violence.

ADDAMS FAMILY VALUES (PG)

3.55pm Channel 5

Starring: Anjelica Huston, Raul Julia, Christopher Lloyd, Joan Cusack, Christina Ricci, Carol Kane

Comedy, fantasy

The Addams Family try to rescue their beloved Uncle Fester from his gold-digging new love, a black widow named Debbie. Entertaining sequel to the 1991 comedy. Mild fantasy violence and scary scenes.

BEACHES (12)

1.25pm 5*

Starring: Bette Midler, Barbara Hershey

Comedy, drama

A privileged rich debutante and a cynical struggling entertainer share a turbulent, but strong childhood friendship over the years. Heartbreaking tale of friendship. One use of strong language. May be edited for content.

HAPPY FEET (U)

4.50pm ITV2

Starring: Robin Williams, Hugh Jackman, Elijah Wood

Animated, Comedy, Adventure

Into the world of the Emperor Penguins, who find their soul mates through song, a penguin is born who cannot sing. But he can tap dance something fierce! Lively animated fun from the creator of Mad Max! Scary moments.

TWO WAY STRETCH (U)

5.15pm Talking Pictures TV

Starring: Peter Sellers, Lionel Jeffries, Wilfrid Hyde-White, Bernard Cribbins, David Lodge, Irene Handl

Comedy, crime

Dodger Lane has planned the perfect robbery while in prison. He intends to break out of prison, steal a fortune in diamonds, and break back into prison before anyone notices. With only a few days’ sentence left, and the perfect alibi, what could possibly go wrong? Wonderful British crime comedy. Very mild sexual innuendo and language. Black and white.

FINDING DORY (U)

6.20pm BBC1

Starring: Ellen DeGeneres, Albert Brooks, Idris Elba

Animation, Adventure, Comedy

Friendly but forgetful blue tang Dory begins a search for her long-lost parents, and everyone learns a few things about the real meaning of family along the way. Winning sequel to Pixar’s Finding Nemo. Infrequent mild threat.

NON-STOP (12)

6.55pm Film4

Starring: Liam Neeson, Julianne Moore, , Michelle Dockery

Thriller, Drama, Action

An air marshal springs into action during a transatlantic flight after receiving a series of text messages demanding $150 million into an off-shore account, or someone will die every 20 minutes. Popcorn fodder action thriller. Moderate action violence, strong language.

THE FIRST WIVES CLUB (PG)

6.55pm 5*

Starring: Goldie Hawn, Bette Midler, Diane Keaton, Maggie Smith

Comedy

Reunited by the death of a college friend, three divorced women seek revenge on the husbands who left them for younger women. Three screen legends save this otherwise routine comedy. Mild sex references, violence and language.

KUNG FU PANDA 2 (PG)

7.10pm E4

Starring: Jack Black, Gary Oldman, Seth Rogen, Angelina Jolie, Jackie Chan, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Dustin Hoffman

Animation, Comedy, Adventure

Po and his friends fight to stop a peacock villain from conquering China with a deadly new weapon, but first the Dragon Warrior must come to terms with his past. Bright sequel to the popular animation. Mild martial arts action.

PULP FICTION (18)

9pm Sony Pictures

Starring: John Travolta, Samuel L. Jackson, Uma Thurman, Harvey Keitel, Tim Roth, Amanda Plummer, Ving Rhames, Maria De Medeiros, Eric Stoltz, Rosanna Arquette, Christopher Walken, Bruce Willis

Thriller, Drama, Crime

The lives of two mob hitmen, a boxer, a gangster and his wife, and a pair of diner bandits intertwine in four tales of violence and redemption. Quentin Tarantino’s legendary crime thriller is still a marvel to behold. Strong graphic violence and drug use, strong language and some sexuality.

THE GREEN MILE (18)

9pm Film4

Starring: Tom Hanks, David Morse, Bonnie Hunt, Michael Clarke Duncan

Crime, drama, fantasy

The lives of guards on Death Row are affected by one of their charges: a black man accused of child murder and rape, yet who has a mysterious gift. Life-affirming drama from the director of The Shawshank Redemption. Violence, language and some sex-related material.

THE TAMING OF THE SHREW (U)

9pm Sony Movies Classic

Starring: Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Burton

Comedy, drama, romance

Brutish, fortune-hunting scoundrel Petruchio (Richard Burton) tames his wealthy, shrewish wife, Katharina (Dame Elizabeth Taylor). Bright version of Shakespeare’s play.

PRETTY WOMAN (15)

9pm 5*

Starring: Richard Gere, Julia Roberts

Comedy, drama, romance

A man in a legal but hurtful business needs an escort for some social events, and hires a beautiful prostitute he meets… only to fall in love. The film that made a star out of Julia Roberts. Strong language and sexual content.

A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS (15)

9.30pm ITV4

Starring: Clint Eastwood, Marianne Koch

Western, Action, Drama

A wandering gunfighter plays two rival families against each other in a town torn apart by greed, pride, and revenge. Superb western that made Clint Eastwood a star. Strong violence and sexual references.

TOMBSTONE (15)

9.45pm Sony Movies Action

Starring: Kurt Russell, Val Kilmer

Western, biopic, action

A successful lawman’s plans to retire anonymously in Tombstone, Arizona are disrupted by the kind of outlaws he was famous for eliminating. Underrated western adventure. Strong violence.

THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH (12)

10.30pm ITV1

Starring: Pierce Brosnan, Sophie Marceau, Robert Carlyle, Denise Richards

Action, adventure, thriller

James Bond uncovers a nuclear plot while protecting an oil heiress from her former kidnapper, an international terrorist who can’t feel pain. Third time around for Pierce Brosnan as Bond. Fun. Violence, sexual reference and innuendo.

EDUCATING RITA (15)

10.35pm BBC Four

Starring: Michael Caine, Julie Walters

Comedy, drama

An alcoholic professor has been hired by a working-class girl for higher education. Terrific adaptation of Willy Russell’s play with a star-making debut from Julie Walters. Strong language, sexual reference and suicide attempt.

THE BOYS FROM BRAZIL (18)

10.40pm Talking Pictures TV

Starring: Gregory Peck, Laurence Olivier, James Mason

Drama, mystery, thriller

A Nazi hunter in Paraguay discovers a sinister and bizarre plot to rekindle the Third Reich. Fascinating thriller with a great cast. Very strong violence, language and sexual content.

SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE (15)

11.15pm Channel 4

Starring: Dev Patel, Freida Pinto, Madhur Mittal, Irrfan Khan, Anil Kapoor

Drama, romance

A Mumbai teenager reflects on his life after being accused of cheating on the Indian version of “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?”. Brilliant Oscar-winning Danny Boyle film. Violence, disturbing images and language.

THE EQUALIZER (18)

11.40pm ITV4

Starring: Denzel Washington, Marton Csokas, Chloë Grace Moretz

Thriller, Action, Crime

A man believes he has put his mysterious past behind him and has dedicated himself to beginning a new, quiet life, before he meets a young girl under the control of ultra-violent Russian gangsters and can’t stand idly by. Tough thriller based on the hit TV series. Strong bloody violence, language, sexual references.

THE PROGRAM (15)

11.50pm BBC1

Starring: Ben Foster, Chris O’Dowd, Lee Pace

Drama, biopic, sport

An Irish sports journalist becomes convinced that Lance Armstrong’s performances during the Tour de France victories are fueled by banned substances. With this conviction, he starts hunting for evidence that will expose Armstrong. Fascinating biopic of a fallen hero. Strong language, use of performance-enhancing drugs.

21 GRAMS (15)

12.05am Sony Movies

Starring: Sean Penn, Benicio Del Toro, Naomi Watts

Crime, drama, thriller

A freak accident brings together a critically ill mathematician, a grieving mother, and a born-again ex-con. Gripping and intelligent thriller. Strong language, moderate sex, violence and drug use.

SLOW WEST (15)

12.40am Film4

Starring: Kodi Smit-McPhee, Michael Fassbender, Ben Mendelsohn

Western, adventure, drama

A young Scottish man travels across America in pursuit of the woman he loves, attracting the attention of an outlaw who is willing to serve as a guide. Slow-moving yet impressive western.